Within The Shadow Of Doubt
by FalseFacts
Summary: A boy lives in misery simply for being himself. Now he may be forced to admitt to the one person who cares about him, that he is gay. Oneshot


**AN: This is going to be a quick little one shot :D**

* * *

*BEEP* BEEP*

Caleb slammed his fist down on his alarm clock. A cold breeze swept through his window and it made him wish he hadn't done that. He rushed his arm back under his warm blanket and shivered. Caleb hated the cold and he hated Mondays, sadly today was both.

Caleb leapt from his bed, hopping that the fast movement would warm him up, it didn't and his toes hit the ice cold floor. "Shit!"

He wished he'd remembered to have worn socks.

Caleb went to the bathroom and then to his closet. He grabbed a blue shirt, gray zip up hoodie, jeans, and his black and white Vans.

He got dressed and walked down stairs for breakfast and his usual plea.

He poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table across from his mom.

He stared at her

"No, Caleb. We've been over this before."

"Please! I just wanna stay home for the day."

"Yeah and then the next day and the next day."

"No I won't. I just need today off ok?"

"What makes today so special?"

Caleb sighed heavily. He really did not want to go to school.

"Because….today…today in English were going to be reading this book about a kid who's gay and I know everyone's going to make fun of me in front of Mr. Ryden."

Caleb's mother shot her son a look of concern

"Caleb I promise you he's not going to treat you any differently."

"Yes he will! They all do! Mom he's the first person in the fucking school who actually treats me like a person. I…I just don't want to lose that."

Caleb's voice became shaky.

"I understand but I have to work today and you can't just avoid these things forever. If he starts to treat you differently then I'll…"

"You'll what? Transfer me for the 4th time? Oh I know, you'll go to the principal again and he'll gibe you the same speech about how bullies don't exist."

They both fell silent. Caleb's mother had done everything she could to protect her son but nothing ever worked and no one cared.

* * *

Caleb sat alone on the back of the bus. His name is Caleb Michael Jensen. He is 15, 5 foot 4 with auburn hair and hazel eyes. Caleb has attended 7 different high schools and three different middle schools. Everywhere he went it was the same story over and over again. Teachers treated him with indifference and his peers beat him up and picked on him daily. When his mom would complain to the principals they all told her that bullies do not exist and that the school was very tolerant of gays and lesbians.

Caleb had tried on several occasions to act as straight as he could but somehow they all found out the truth with in a matter of months. The only thing Caleb could conclude was that he wasn't a very good actor.

In the end all Caleb could do was suck it up and if they wanted to beat the crap out of him Caleb was glad to take on the fight. In fact Caleb had became really good a fighting but that only made things worse because no one wanted to be beaten by a "faggot".

These fights had sent Caleb to the principal's office and to the hospital on more then one occasion. Because Caleb had stood up for himself the principal placed blame on both Caleb and whoever was fighting him that day. These fights had also gotten Caleb suspended.

Caleb had tried to figure out why suspension was considered to be a bad thing; to Caleb those were the best days of his life. On those days he actually felt happy, he felt like a human. There had been man days in Caleb's life that he'd rather forget. They were his "Dark days" or so he called them. They were the days when he was convinced that the world did not need him, that everyone would be happier if he'd just die. But that was like saying that he mattered, Caleb knew that if he died no one would care at all. They wouldn't be happy or sad; they'd be as numb as he was when he sat broken hearted in his basement. There would be a story on the NEWS about him for a day or less and then nothing. People like hearing about murders and rapes, stuff to get the blood pumped. No one cares about the inner turmoil that one must feel to take their own life. The bus stopped and Caleb looked out the widow and saw his hell that awaited him.

* * *

His day had passed by fairly smoothly. He only got tripped twice and someone drew a dick on his backpack; a good day all and all.

But now Caleb had to face one final period, English class with Mr. Ryden. was Caleb's favourite teacher and Caleb was Mr. Ryden's favourite student. Mr. Ryden didn't know about Caleb's sexuality and Caleb concluded that if he ever did find out Caleb would lose him. Mr. Ryden was always complementing Caleb's work and encouraging him. Caleb felt safe their in that room.

Mr. Ryden was lanky with spiky brown hair and dark eyes that bordered on brown and black. He was in his late 40's and was married with a 6 year old daughter.

Caleb took his seat and rested his head on his desk.

Then Caleb felt a hand on his back. He looked up, it was Mr. Ryden

"Caleb? Are you ok?" he asked

Caleb nodded "Yeah, just tired"

Mr. Ryden obviously did not believe that. The bell rang and everyone took their seats.

Mr. Ryden told us to take out our books.

"Were going to be reading this book which is about an openly gay teenager and the problems that he faces in his day to day life."

Caleb could already hear the snickers.

He really hopped that this would all end soon.

Then a boy named Zack raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"I don't get it if he knows he's going to have so many problems then why doesn't he just be straight?"

"Well it's more commonly accepted nowadays that people are born gay and can't simply change their sexuality."

"So why doesn't he just act straight?"

Caleb felt his blood boil. He was so angry and even though he wanted to he couldn't stop himself from raising his hand.

"You can't act straight. Believe me I've tried." He was like a lamb, willingly being slaughtered.

Mr. Ryden looked at Caleb, his mouth slightly open as he searched for the right words.

"What troubles have you faced as a gay teenager?"

Caleb was kind of happy and nervous to finally have some ask him that.

"I've been beat up, I've gotten suspended, I had to transfer schools, and I've gone to the hospital more times then I can count."

"That's terrible. Have you tried talking to the principal or a guidance councillor?"

"Yeah but they don't do anything. They deny everything."

"I see."

Caleb was so horribly terrified at that moment. He had just admitted to his teacher that he was gay and all he could say was "I see."

* * *

After class ended and Caleb could finally feel his legs again he got up and was about to leave when he was stopped by Mr. Ryden.

"Caleb, I just wanted to say that I'm very proud of you for what you did. It was a very brave thing to come out in front of everyone like that."

Caleb smiled but he didn't believe any of it. They were just sweet lies to him.

"I know that when I was your age I wouldn't have had the same courage."

Caleb raised an eyebrow "What do you mean?"

Mr. Ryden put a hand on Caleb's shoulder "I'm gay too."

"But your married with a daughter?"  
"I know and I love them both very much…but I'm still gay. It's just that when I was younger people had to hide their sexuality from everyone and the best cover up was to get married."

Mr. Ryden sighed heavily

"Now everyone is resorting to suicide. None of it's good and if school and people continue to hide away from who they are were all doomed. That's why what you did was very brave and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here."

* * *

**EN: On the 20****th**** please wear purple in honour of those poor souls who felt like suicide was the only way out. I hate how schools ignore the problem with bullies and I hate how everyone says that the school is so tolerate of gays and lesbians when the guy next to me keeps saying "faggot". By the way when I was being picked on in the 6****th**** and 7****th**** grade my mom went to the principal and the principal really did say "Now Mrs. Gordon, do you really believe that there are bullies in this school?"**

**Fucking ignorant pricks!**

**If you feel like your alone or whatever please do not kill your self, cause' I care and I'm sorry this world is full of assholes but you know what it does get better. **


End file.
